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A PARENTS DELEMA
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Cool A PARENTS DELEMA - March 20, 2008, 09:22 AM

Hey all, growing up, we dont understand what our parents mean by how much they worry about us (staying out late without calling, riding, etc.).Well my son wants to try the track with me on the 30th. He has dirt experience but no street experience. His mother is threatening to divorce me if I take him and he gets hurt (she wolnt let our 22 year old ride ither, but he doesnt have the passion for it like the 15 yr. old). I have confidence in his clutch, throttle, and brake control, the thing I worry about is his ability to control the bike (and his emotions/fear/panic) in a lean. Anyone been in this position yet? How should I deal with this...I want him to learn and ride and live his own life. I think the track and his gear (need to get him knee armor) are the best options as a responsible parent. I feel that this is a great oppertunity for him, BUT the wife thinks I am contributing to the demise of our son. WHAT DO YOU THINK? FEMALE OPINIONS NEEDED MOSTLY!!! THANK YOU ALL.
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March 20, 2008, 09:25 AM

Divorce! Cause its worth it. What so you are not allowed to raise your sons how you want? If you do not take him and get him on the track you will regret it forever! Maybe start with mini-moto racing on fiddy's first then move up to the bigger bikes.


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March 20, 2008, 09:26 AM

I'm not a mother so it's hard for me to REALLY understand the feelings. That being said, I think its better you take him to the track with the proper gear where he'll get instruction, rather than him rebelling in a few years and tearing it up on the streets where he will more likely hurt himself. I'd like to think if I were a monther and a wife, I'd trust my husband as the father of my child to take care of him out there and show him the right way to ride.
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March 20, 2008, 09:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dodge131
Divorce! Cause its worth it. What so you are not allowed to raise your sons how you want? If you do not take him and get him on the track you will regret it forever! Maybe start with mini-moto racing on fiddy's first then move up to the bigger bikes.
Seriously Dodge, are you FCUKING serious?? No really.

Raising kids the way YOU want? What happened to both parties raising the kids?? While I don't agree on her threatening with a divorce, she obviously is saying that because she is worried about her child...that she gave BIRTH TO....

ANYWAY- I think that if you entered him into something like cornerspeed, where he has someone with a lot of experience training him he will be able to pick it up no problem and he was given some training before he just did a track day.... That could be an idea.


Wow. Just..................wow.
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March 20, 2008, 09:30 AM

First your son -

Get him some training. If you are worried about his skill level on the street, get him familiar with it.

For the wife -

To be so restrictive to limit what one can experience in a controlled environment is not right IMO. If you we asking to bring him to a kegger to get loaded for the first time that would be one thing... But you are looking to expand on his passion for motorcycles. The threat of divorce is the most bothersome.


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March 20, 2008, 09:32 AM

I think marriage is often about compromising. Try to find a medium that will make both of you happy(ier).

I'm not a parent, but i KNOW that at age 18-22 i probably would have hurt myself, badly, on a bike due to maturity levels. At that age you really dont have a sense of reality of how bad things can be if you fuck up. I realize we are talking about track here in a controlled enviroment. I can kind of see both sides of the argument.


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March 20, 2008, 09:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abrasive
I think marriage is often about compromising. Try to find a medium that will make both of you happy(ier).

I'm not a parent, but i KNOW that at age 18-22 i probably would have hurt myself, badly, on a bike due to maturity levels. At that age you really dont have a sense of reality of how bad things can be if you fuck up. I realize we are talking about track here in a controlled enviroment. I can kind of see both sides of the argument.
At the same time, if you have had experience since you were little that would change the way they view the machine.

But agreed- "I think marriage is often about compromising"
Still not right that she threatened divorce....it might just be her way of letting you know she is serious, but if you take the right avenue, she will hopefully come around.


Wow. Just..................wow.
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March 20, 2008, 09:37 AM

I completely understand your dilema as I am a mother with a passion for motorcycles. However, I am not sure I'll be of much assistance when it comes to the whole thing, as I debate this issue all the time. Luckily my son hasn't started really 'pushing'. I do think that the safest place is the track and agree with the fact that I'd rather have some kind of 'control' over what he's learning and how he carries himself rather than have him learn out there on the streets without me. When my son first rode a dirt bike, I knew I couldn't be the one to teach him, so asked a friend to do it while I watched. I was also riding a dirt bike and dumped it several times just because I was so nervous for HIM!! My parents were always very supportive of whatever we wanted to do, and that includes having three of their four daughters decide to ride on two wheels!!!! The bottom line is there are the pros and cons to every situation. You will be gifting your child the skills and opportunity to experience the most wonderful sport in the world (okay I'm a bit biased) and learn all the things that come with any sport! However, we all know there is an element of danger in this sport, and we have all seen or heard of terrible things happening out there. So after all this rambling, all I have to say is... if it helps, there's not an 'easy' answer to this dilema. However, I do believe that if you are not having a 'personal' dilema regarding having your son out there...as in you are 100% behind it, and your wife is the only determining factor, I think you REALLY need to sit her down and discuss it rationally. I wouldn't say to go and take him against her request, because as a mother she could be prone to violent acts after that... I know I would be , however, maybe a reasonable well thought out conversation of the benefits resulting from getting your son in that controlled enviornment will sway her opinion!!! Thanks for letting me babble!!!


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March 20, 2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyK
At the same time, if you have had experience since you were little that would change the way they view the machine.

But agreed- "I think marriage is often about compromising"
Still not right that she threatened divorce....it might just be her way of letting you know she is serious, but if you take the right avenue, she will hopefully come around.
Yeah, i understand that. I'm just saying that teens sometimes to have an air of invincibility about them. It would really come down the individual. I know i did some crazy stupid shit in my car at that age.

And i totally agree about threatening w/divorce. If my wife threatened me with something like that(i particularly dont take well to ultimatums) we'd have a pretty long sit down and chat time.


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March 20, 2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyK
Seriously Dodge, are you FCUKING serious?? No really.

Raising kids the way YOU want? What happened to both parties raising the kids?? While I don't agree on her threatening with a divorce, she obviously is saying that because she is worried about her child...that she gave BIRTH TO....

ANYWAY- I think that if you entered him into something like cornerspeed, where he has someone with a lot of experience training him he will be able to pick it up no problem and he was given some training before he just did a track day.... That could be an idea.
Yes I am serious! My mother told my dad to make sure I had nothing to do with motorcycles and looked what happened! Maybe if I had gotten the motorcycle bug in me earlier I wouldn't be so serious about it now. I have both my sons riding bikes allready and will teach them and promote saftey aslong as they want to. She maybe serious about not having her sons on bikes but trust me it will come back on her. Educate her about saftey and the track. Take her to Summit Point. Hell get her to watch a MSF course.


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March 20, 2008, 09:44 AM

I think you're facing the bigger issue here of her not allowing you to have a say in how your children are raised. Although if she is forbidding a 22 yr old from riding, it seems like her opinion carries some real weight in your family, so this is probably just the latest power struggle...

My mom didn't like me riding a bike when I was 22, she still doesnt, but it never stopped me... Even my dad, who has always ridden, took her side agains't my getting a bike... They were unhappy for a little while, but they got over it.. I thinky our wife will too.

It sounds like you are doing the responsible thing by taking him to the track, having him learn in a controlled atmosphere, trained by pros, etc... If he really has passion for riding, he'll do it whether mommy (or you) approves or not, so at least this way you can keep an eye on him and give him the best preparation possible. Try to explain it to your wife that way, it may calm her down.


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March 20, 2008, 09:47 AM

I'm just here picking up tips so I know what to tell my future husband when I want to take my spawn to the track.

Carry on.


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March 20, 2008, 09:50 AM

My parents always told me to stay away from bikes...yet my brothers were allowed to go riding hell my dad even gave my little brother a 50 for his 5th birthday. I think its awesome that my son and stepson both love motorcyles as much as their father. If your son has shown an real intrest and has asked to do a track day then I would honor that. Have your wife come with you guys to the track. I know she will put up a fight at first. But it would be great if she could see the excitement on your childs face. Good luck!!
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March 20, 2008, 10:07 AM

The 22 year old doesnt have the passion or seem to care about bikes but the 15 yr old son and my 13 yr old daughter are so bitten, I hate to tell them no, when I want to ride alone because I take them (1 rides with the neighbor ) so often. both have riden their own pocket bikes, and 125 dirt bikes. My son is so consumed with riding that I dont believe this is a phase of some sort so I know he will do it with or without my blesing (how hypacritical would that be for me to not)...Thank You all for the opinions!
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March 20, 2008, 10:09 AM

P.S. Its a "try the track" event with team promo. Not a real track day (Yet anyway)
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