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9/11 and PTSD
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SRWJTS SGT-At-Arms
 
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9/11 and PTSD - September 11, 2013, 11:22 AM

I know there's folks on here who deal with issues, both from 9/11 and from service in combat. Cops who've seen gruesome shit (and more frequently than me, by far. Smaller doses maybe, but all the damn time. Ugh), firefighters, social workers.

We all have demons. Here's a bit about mine. I've come a long way since going off on Rob for no reason two years ago and getting

This was directed at some folks I served with during the pentagon rescue / recovery operation, but I figured I'd share it here. I'd like for this thread to give people an opportunity to remember the date, without all the political BS/Muslim March/Biker Protest/etc talk. Like quasi said, everyone was affected in some way.

Mine is a cautionary tale.

I spent several years thinking that the things we saw and did in the pentagon didn't affect me. To me, my anger was never unjustified, my drinking was just me "having a good time," and my risky behavior was just me "cutting loose" and enjoying life. Meanwhile, for all the "fun" I was having, I was miserable and self-destructive.

I didn't realize I needed help. I figured waking up with nightmares and smelling jet fuel and burning flesh was no big deal. Thought that drinking myself to sleep was acceptable.

I've only recently started actually getting help, and it's uncanny just how much more able I am to cope.

We were kids. Kids aren't supposed to see and do the things we did, in a civilized world. We live in a world where civilization is a flimsy veneer, an illusion covering a cancerous mass of hate and evil. The best we can do is protect our children, not by shielding them from evil, but by teaching them to stand up to it, to be loving, kind, and caring, and to have the courage to say "I can't do this alone. Not yet"

LB Grunt said it well.

"Fuck you terrorists. I'm still alive"


-Fitz

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Parkin lot pimpin'
 
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September 11, 2013, 11:34 AM

Respect


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September 11, 2013, 12:10 PM

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whoa preppy......
 
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September 11, 2013, 12:14 PM

you're a good man charlie brown


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September 11, 2013, 12:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Major View Post
I'm still LOLing at this.


-Fitz

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September 11, 2013, 12:18 PM

Quote:
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you're a good man charlie brown
Meh. Better than I used to be. Far from good.

Lots of folks who still carry a lot of hurt and rage. Lots of vets in particular, silently limping along with a brave face on hiding the struggle within.

It sucks.


-Fitz

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whoa preppy......
 
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September 11, 2013, 12:23 PM

you are working in the right direction to make things better. Better for your family. Better for you. It's not getting there that makes you good. It's the effort and direction you are headed that makes you good.


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September 11, 2013, 12:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fitz View Post
Meh. Better than I used to be. Far from good.

Lots of folks who still carry a lot of hurt and rage. Lots of vets in particular, silently limping along with a brave face on hiding the struggle within.

It sucks.
Quite true...I have a couple of friends who started exchanging stories in front of me from their tours in Afghanistan and although they weren't physically wounded, lots of emotional scars.


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September 11, 2013, 01:16 PM

Thanks for sharing your story. I think all too often, the emotional damage is overlooked despite it being sometimes more damaging than the physical impact. Glad to hear you're moving along in the right direction.


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September 11, 2013, 02:09 PM

what is SRWJTS
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The last urrbendah
 
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September 11, 2013, 02:20 PM

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Meh
 
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September 11, 2013, 02:59 PM

I am glad you are here. F*cked up as you are.
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September 11, 2013, 03:07 PM

Hey, Fitzy! You've always been there for guys that are hurting and you're awesome for that. I had a tough time with dealing with this for awhile. I wasn't so young in Afghanistan, and it wasn't my first rodeo, but you're right a lot of guys going in are very young. I couldn't help but think of an old poem by Thomas Hardy (I don't remember a lot of poetry, but this one seemed to stick) called "The Man He Killed" (see below). The summary of the poem is regret in killing a foe that by any other means, any other place, or any other circumstance may have gotten along with, or perhaps been friends. There's something that I've come to realize in the last few years and it's helped me a lot. To be called to arms at such a time was an honor and a privilege. I like to compare this analogy with my Father. He's always worked hard and been there for me and my family. I know that sometimes life was tough, but he never let it show. It was his burden to bear. The scars that we bear, emotional and physical are what I call the Warriors Burden. On our backs, we carry the freedom that civilians enjoy and "To those who have fought for it, freedom has a taste that the protected shall never know" - Unknown Author.

"Had he and I but met
By some old ancient inn,
We should have sat us down to wet
Right many a nipperkin!

"But ranged as infantry,
And staring face to face,
I shot at him as he at me,
And killed him in his place.

"I shot him dead because
Because he was my foe,
Just so: my foe of course he was;
That's clear enough; although

"He thought he'd 'list, perhaps,
Off-hand like just as I
Was out of work had sold his traps
No other reason why.

"Yes; quaint and curious war is!
You shoot a fellow down
You'd treat if met where any bar is,
Or help to half-a-crown."

Thomas Hardy


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September 11, 2013, 08:29 PM

I'd do ya Fitz!


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September 11, 2013, 08:40 PM

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