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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
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Bling Blang Blaow
 
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Join Date: January 22, 2010
Location: MOCO
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD - October 28, 2010, 05:07 PM



To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.ST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message..

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex


2003 Honda VTX 1800R - Modded to the MAX
2005 Ducati M800 - RIP

'You live more in 5 minutes on a motorcycle than most people do in life time' --Burt Munro

RIP Wayne Thomas (AKA Godson) ...ride on my brother, ride on.

CheapMotorcycleDeals.com - My blog where I search for the best deals on Motorcycles for sale in the DC Metro Area (Updated daily).
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Spike
 
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October 28, 2010, 05:20 PM



One of my fav's!


RIP Greg Walker, I will never forget you

If everybody thought before they spoke, the silence would be deafening
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Cabin Fever
 
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Join Date: September 1, 2010
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October 28, 2010, 07:17 PM



perfect!

you just dont bring a knife to a gun fight!


2000 yamaha R6(wrecked and abandoned)'

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You wanna talk about learning from someone else's mistake. (ATGATT)
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Officially Addicted to Posting
 
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October 28, 2010, 07:39 PM

Complete nonsense, but funny!
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October 28, 2010, 08:21 PM

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Originally Posted by rddy View Post
Complete nonsense, but funny!
Hahaha! Yeah, I think he and his "Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol" are full shit.


I'm not a leg humper... but I'm super attracted to how fucking stupid she is! - wildjester

Castle: rob, potbelly, stat. i brought the bike, wanna ride 2 up??
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Ton Up!
 
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October 28, 2010, 08:24 PM

I'll like my shit back thank you


~Justin

FREE FITZ!!!!

1999 Suzuki SV650
1982 Kawasaki GPz550 : RIP 4/16/09
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Agitator
 
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October 28, 2010, 09:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naked_Biker
I'll like my shit back thank you
It's in your pants.


Marc
CCS Amateur #851
2001 Ducati 850RS
2006 SV650 Racebike
2010 CBR1000RR

...and because sometimes you want to go fast, but need 4 wheels:
2009 Nissan GT-R
2003 Nissan 350Z (for sale, $11k OBO)
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GDMFSOB
 
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October 29, 2010, 06:18 PM

Alas, we live in America. This dude is probably in a cell right now for assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, credit card fraud, destruction of private property, threatening the president, making false statements to the police, and the mugger is suing him for mental anguish and damages to cover the staph infection caused by his feces coming into contact with needle tracks.


#132 EX
Proudly representing: DC-MOTO, Amsoil, SHOEI, Woodcraft-CFM, MARRC

2015 MARRC Crash & Burn Award
2014 MARRC Sportsmanship Award
2013 MARRC Amateur of the Year
2012 MARRC Cornerworker of the Year
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Here is my anus! Deliver thy penis unto it!.
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Ton Up!
 
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October 29, 2010, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Evil Twin View Post
Alas, we live in America. This dude is probably in a cell right now for assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, credit card fraud, destruction of private property, threatening the president, making false statements to the police, and the mugger is suing him for mental anguish and damages to cover the staph infection caused by his feces coming into contact with needle tracks.
This.


~Justin

FREE FITZ!!!!

1999 Suzuki SV650
1982 Kawasaki GPz550 : RIP 4/16/09
1971 Honda CB450 : SOLD!
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Railing!
 
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October 29, 2010, 06:44 PM

LOL


DeReK AgIn
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