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Death to all recruiters!!!
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Go Team Venture!!!
 
Jedi's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,326
Join Date: April 23, 2004
Location: Round Hill
Death to all recruiters!!! - November 1, 2006, 03:44 PM

So I am looking for a new job and posted my resume on Dice and Monster. About 3 or 4 times a day I get a call from someone who just can't speak english to save their life. I just had to share the conversation. I am going to start recording these and putting them on the web.

Now imagine having this conversation on a cell phone with the static and delay of a connection to India.

Me: Hello
Recruiter: E'llo, Can please talk Jack Prsimon
Me: Um...This is he
Recruiter: E'llo, Jack, My name is Shrersjikantistantic
Me: Hi...umm....er.....How are you?
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, I am fine Jack, tank jew forb asking
Recruiter: Jack, I have a job in Ashbarn Virgin for a Project Manager with ETL
Me: Umm....ok...
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, wuld jew be interested?
Me: Sure
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, what is jor rate?
Me: 1099 or W2?
Recruiter: that's fine, what is jor rate
Me: (Sigh)....XX an hour
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, That is fine
Recruiter: Jack, how much experiance do jew have with data warehouse
Me: Oh, about 10 years.
Recruiter: And how much with Project Management
Me: Um...about 14
Recruiter: Thats good, and ETL?
Me: ETL?
Recruiter: Jess, ETL
Me: I don't understand the question. Do you mean how much experiance do I have working with databases or Programming?
Recruiter: Ow much experiance with ETL
Me: Do you mean a specifc ETL tool, ETL by itself is not a product, its a process used for extracting and loading data from databases.
Recruiter: Jack, thank jew for that description of ETL, Ow much experiance do you have with ETL.
Me: (Big sigh) I have over 17 years of experiance working with databases not all of it using ETL.
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL
Me: No, I have used the process ETL in my work with Data Warehouse
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL
Me: No look, are you technical or just a recruiter?
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL?
Me: Look, let me explain what ETL is ETL stands for Extract, transform, and load, ETL is a process for working with databases that involves, extracting data from outside sources, transforming it to fit the database, and then loading it into the database. Saying I have 17 years of experiance is like saying I have 17 years of experinace pushing on the gas pedal to describe how long I have been driving.
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, tank jew for explaining ETL to me, so how many years of experiance do jew have with ETL
Me: I have 17 years of experiance with ETL

Then to top it all off she wanted my social security number and would not tell me who the company was before she submitted my resume.




"Whore Force One" pilot
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Not 40 yet!
The Force is strong in this one
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Posts: 2,117
Join Date: May 3, 2004
Location: Fairfax
November 1, 2006, 03:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi
So I am looking for a new job and posted my resume on Dice and Monster. About 3 or 4 times a day I get a call from someone who just can't speak english to save their life. I just had to share the conversation. I am going to start recording these and putting them on the web.

Now imagine having this conversation on a cell phone with the static and delay of a connection to India.

Me: Hello
Recruiter: E'llo, Can please talk Jack Prsimon
Me: Um...This is he
Recruiter: E'llo, Jack, My name is Shrersjikantistantic
Me: Hi...umm....er.....How are you?
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, I am fine Jack, tank jew forb asking
Recruiter: Jack, I have a job in Ashbarn Virgin for a Project Manager with ETL
Me: Umm....ok...
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, wuld jew be interested?
Me: Sure
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, what is jor rate?
Me: 1099 or W2?
Recruiter: that's fine, what is jor rate
Me: (Sigh)....XX an hour
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, That is fine
Recruiter: Jack, how much experiance do jew have with data warehouse
Me: Oh, about 10 years.
Recruiter: And how much with Project Management
Me: Um...about 14
Recruiter: Thats good, and ETL?
Me: ETL?
Recruiter: Jess, ETL
Me: I don't understand the question. Do you mean how much experiance do I have working with databases or Programming?
Recruiter: Ow much experiance with ETL
Me: Do you mean a specifc ETL tool, ETL by itself is not a product, its a process used for extracting and loading data from databases.
Recruiter: Jack, thank jew for that description of ETL, Ow much experiance do you have with ETL.
Me: (Big sigh) I have over 17 years of experiance working with databases not all of it using ETL.
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL
Me: No, I have used the process ETL in my work with Data Warehouse
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL
Me: No look, are you technical or just a recruiter?
Recruiter: So 17 years of experiance with ETL?
Me: Look, let me explain what ETL is ETL stands for Extract, transform, and load, ETL is a process for working with databases that involves, extracting data from outside sources, transforming it to fit the database, and then loading it into the database. Saying I have 17 years of experiance is like saying I have 17 years of experinace pushing on the gas pedal to describe how long I have been driving.
Recruiter: Yeah Jack, tank jew for explaining ETL to me, so how many years of experiance do jew have with ETL
Me: I have 17 years of experiance with ETL

Then to top it all off she wanted my social security number and would not tell me who the company was before she submitted my resume.


Excellent.
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IrightI
 
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Posts: 856
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Location: The Ville - A-Town at heart
November 1, 2006, 03:59 PM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
tank jew forb asking


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PewPew
 
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Posts: 2,858
Join Date: April 29, 2006
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November 1, 2006, 04:03 PM

That just made my day. Thanks for sharing your mind-numbing experiance with out-sourced business reps, heh.

But in all seriousness, sorry they're morons man. Good luck!


R.I.P. Eric "TheIrishGuy"

"Will you carry me down the aisle that final day
With your tears and cold hands shaking from the weight
When you lower me down beneath that sky of gray
Let the rain fall down and wash away your pain"


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  (#5)
DAS BOOT
 
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November 1, 2006, 04:04 PM



Wow. Just..................wow.
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  (#6)
Go Team Venture!!!
 
Jedi's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,326
Join Date: April 23, 2004
Location: Round Hill
November 1, 2006, 04:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoVaGhost
That just made my day. Thanks for sharing your mind-numbing experiance with out-sourced business reps, heh.

But in all seriousness, sorry they're morons man. Good luck!
Seriously, it seems like 90% of the people I talk with on a daily basis are calling from India. At least 3 times a day I get a call from someone with an Indian accent, longer then normal pauses and static which usually means its a call being routed overseas (I used to setup these types of networks for AT&T). I don't have a problem with India, but if you are going to do a job that involves selling or talking with people, you have to speak at least semi intelligently. I think a lot of US companies that outsourced phone type work to India are bringing it back to the US and Indian companies are struggling to find any work they can do by phone. So recruiting seems to be an easy fit, they just need to train their people how to better communicate and for god sakes please if your job is to communicate, "KNOW WHAT THE F*CK YOUR SAYING". It would not be so bad if I did not have to rely on these people to get a job, but it seems like the only way into some companies is through a recruiter like these morons.


"Whore Force One" pilot
The Whitest of White Boys
Not 40 yet!
The Force is strong in this one
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BIG SACK RYDAZ
 
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Location: Orange County
November 1, 2006, 05:29 PM

then again you have to ask yourself if you want to work for a company that outsources to these guys


I won 5st Place
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Go Team Venture!!!
 
Jedi's Avatar
 
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November 1, 2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by triplestack3
then again you have to ask yourself if you want to work for a company that outsources to these guys
Everyone does it now a days if you work in IT. Seems like the only way around it is to know someone in the company. Anything else is a blackhole.


"Whore Force One" pilot
The Whitest of White Boys
Not 40 yet!
The Force is strong in this one
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Suddenly Superstitious!!!
 
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Location: Dulles
November 1, 2006, 07:15 PM

I have a resume up on Monster and Yahoo as well. (Hedging my bets juuuuust in case.) I'm getting some of the same calls. Only upside is I'm really not cheap and that seems to filter out a bunch as well.

FYI....the company looking for ETL talent in Ashburn is probably Fannie Mae. A friend is doing the contractor gig with them and says the money is good.


I want my baby back, baby back, baby back....Chileeeeee's bay back...
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  (#10)
Go Team Venture!!!
 
Jedi's Avatar
 
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Location: Round Hill
November 1, 2006, 10:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MudDawg
I have a resume up on Monster and Yahoo as well. (Hedging my bets juuuuust in case.) I'm getting some of the same calls. Only upside is I'm really not cheap and that seems to filter out a bunch as well.

FYI....the company looking for ETL talent in Ashburn is probably Fannie Mae. A friend is doing the contractor gig with them and says the money is good.
I am really expensive (more than a high priced hooker) and it does not seem to weed out the loosers for me. I have had calls for positions paying less than 30 an hour and it clearly states my rate on the site. Then they get all huffy when I don't lower my rate. Then I brake in to my cartman voice and complain "Shickwntimac, your braking my balls here"


"Whore Force One" pilot
The Whitest of White Boys
Not 40 yet!
The Force is strong in this one
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  (#11)
DT
Yesssssss.....
 
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November 2, 2006, 12:55 AM

Jack - you have a PM.


04 600RR - SOLD

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True Riyduh
 
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November 2, 2006, 05:39 AM

Ha!


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Suddenly Superstitious!!!
 
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Join Date: August 25, 2004
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November 2, 2006, 06:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi
I am really expensive (more than a high priced hooker) and it does not seem to weed out the loosers for me. I have had calls for positions paying less than 30 an hour and it clearly states my rate on the site. Then they get all huffy when I don't lower my rate. Then I brake in to my cartman voice and complain "Shickwntimac, your braking my balls here"
$30 an hour? Bwhahahah. I tell them my contractor rate is 130 an hour. That usually stops them dead in their tracks. I seriously doubt I'll find a job at my level from an internet board. But it's a good gauge of the job market in general. Market is good...you get lots of calls. Nothing wrong with that.

The one I love is the "sales" jobs for new companies. They are looking for the desperate folks.


I want my baby back, baby back, baby back....Chileeeeee's bay back...
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