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Douche Fuck stoke my bike
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Douche Fuck stoke my bike - November 1, 2010, 07:40 PM

Well if any one happens/ happened to see this bike by chance around DC, on base, EBay, Craigslist, spray-painted, or otherwise please let me know.

It is a 2008 Kona Coilair 20" it was stolen while I was on orders,
during this month month from storage in the barracks. And magically the cameras also crashed so I have no video evidence.

My bike looks just like this not counting mine had a triple instead of a bash guard and the black rocker link was not milled through on mine in the back.



The following is NSFW






To the thief boner biting fuck headed ass hat twat-monster one eyed gaping bearded axe wound. If you know what this bike is for.

I hope you use it for it's intended purpose and that you flat in a rock garden while barreling down a rock face, then hit a patch of moss breaking the axle proceeding to flip off a cliff thus forcing your anus to be impaled by my seat post upon impact.

And hopefully you live on base so that I may be fortunate enough to see you and pop you at the gate with the bike. I wish a article 15 and a dishonorable discharge, garnishment of wages, the money it took for me to bring it from Colorado , and a nice shiny felony after some time in Quantico.

And if it was some contractor/ civi working on/ at my residence on base go fuck yourself you ingrate and may you be blacklisted for eternity and forced to some third world country.

Have a good day and fuck off thief hopefully you run out in front of my truck and survive so I attack you monetarily.





To those helping have a good day and enjoy your week!

And before you say it yes I now have renters insurance I will leave it at that.



*edit*

FYI anyone that plays a role in actually recovering the bike IE leads, giving me a craigslist post, I will pay you $100 and if you give me information to actually apprehend the thief/ thief's I will pay you $500

I doubt I will ever see it again, but this is eating me up and I am willing to pay someone so that I may have the peace of mind of knowing who the son of a bitch is that did this.


08 Dizzzer SM
08 Z1000
98 KLR 650

Last edited by Tarded Jake; November 2, 2010 at 11:40 PM..
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November 1, 2010, 07:47 PM

#1-kona is a great bike! fox shocks, marzocci bomber front end, rapid fire shifters, great climbing gears and awesome lock outs and hydralic brakes/shift lines...rented one in big bear and it was far better than any joker or specialized i've ridden.

#2- sorry to hear man, that sucks balls. i feel your pain, had a specialized hardrock with a bomber and 29in's +other mods stollen from my work once, they cut the chain, left me 2 links to hang onto.

you feel violated, i know i did. feels like someone literally fucked you and now you're just confused and dont know what to do or how to react.
police report! tell everyone on base, tell the guys at the gate.
chances are if an enlisted stole it, they're gonna get theirs.

good luck man.


2000 yamaha R6(wrecked and abandoned)'

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November 1, 2010, 07:53 PM

Religiously check Ebay and CL.
My friend in Denver had his bike stolen about 2 months ago. He continually checked CL and sure enough, 1 week later it showed up for sale.
Met with the guy, came with the cops and got his bike back.



“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a Prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires”.

- Nicolo Machiavelli 1469-1527

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to be continued......
 
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November 1, 2010, 07:54 PM

Jake if you get it back and ever go out of town again lemme know you can put in my apt or my locked storage room. I know that doesnt help now but in the future it might


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November 1, 2010, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Newgirlie View Post
Jake if you get it back and ever go out of town again lemme know you can put in my apt or my locked storage room. I know that doesnt help now but in the future it might
It was in a locked room that you need a electronic chip to enter surrounded by cameras. But the cameras failed and someone gained access though stealing a master key card or they let a contractor in to get into the space for mechanical work and they took it.

But while I was gone shady shits have been breaking into dorm rooms stealing car keys and joy riding in co-workers cars/ trucks,




I am pissed that a E8 tried to give me paper work for keeping it in my room! and forced me to store it away from my regular eyesight ahhh how I love people who are in leadership positions that have the ability to make direct personal discretionary judgments how I live and deal with my possessions!


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Last edited by Tarded Jake; November 1, 2010 at 08:04 PM..
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to be continued......
 
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November 1, 2010, 08:04 PM

holy cow yikes... not good sorry


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November 1, 2010, 08:14 PM

shoulda just put it in ur room, sorry i had to say it


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November 1, 2010, 08:37 PM

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shoulda just put it in ur room, sorry i had to say it
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarded Jake
I am pissed that a E8 tried to give me paper work for keeping it in my room! and forced me to store it away from my regular eyesight ahhh how I love people who are in leadership positions that have the ability to make direct personal discretionary judgments how I live and deal with my possessions!



“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a Prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires”.

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November 1, 2010, 08:51 PM

ya i read that...i mean like if you have a dog and you're not alowed to own a dog at your apt., just do not disclose it.
no need to attack this!


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November 1, 2010, 09:23 PM

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ya i read that...i mean like if you have a dog and you're not alowed to own a dog at your apt., just do not disclose it.
no need to attack this!
Military- your "land lord" has inspections randomly 3-30 times a month.....


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November 1, 2010, 09:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarded Jake

Military- your "land lord" has inspections randomly 3-30 times a month.....
Only 30? You must be AF.

I'm gonna crosspost this to a few places for friends that do the MTB thing. Will let you know if something pops up on the hot list.


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November 1, 2010, 11:12 PM

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Only 30? You must be AF.

I'm gonna crosspost this to a few places for friends that do the MTB thing. Will let you know if something pops up on the hot list.
Thank you and yup on the blue cool aid but its starting to taste like shit. Or at least some of the turds floating around in the glass.


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November 2, 2010, 07:44 AM

I feel your pain. I decided to start biking to work last year in an effort to get in better shape. I had two bikes stolen in the same year, one in the fall and one in the spring. One specialized and one cannondale, both used from craigslist and worth less than $350 each. The first was stolen from in front of my house in Alexandria, and the second was stolen outside of work in southwest. I was too cheap to spring for the Kryptonite lock so I finally said fuck it, i'm just gonna have to stay fat.


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November 2, 2010, 11:39 PM

FYI anyone that plays a role in actually recovering the bike IE leads, giving me a craigslist post, I will pay you $100 and if you give me information to actually apprehend the thief/ thief's I will pay you $500

I doubt I will ever see it again, but this is eating me up and I am willing to pay someone so that I may have the peace of mind of knowing who the son of a bitch is that did this.


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98 KLR 650
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November 2, 2010, 11:56 PM

DC has a bad rep for stealing mopeds and bicycles .. cops are such fat fucks wont even bother looking the security tapes


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