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View Poll Results: Ever Fake an Orgasm?
I'm a Female and I've faked 8 12.31%
I'm a Female and I've never faked 11 16.92%
I'm a Male and I've faked 29 44.62%
I'm a Male and I've never faked 17 26.15%
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll

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Ever faked an orgasm?
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  (#1)
I'm an Asshole
 
griffindj's Avatar
 
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Join Date: January 17, 2006
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Ever faked an orgasm? - September 20, 2006, 02:40 PM

I'm bored and writing a myspace blog, so I'm collecting research.

Yes, this question is retarded, but did you expect anything less?


If you can read this, give me a red dot
If you get mad when I type, do us both a favor.

Some recent rep I have been given:
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  (#2)
GP Champ
 
Posts: 2,117
Join Date: May 3, 2004
Location: Fairfax
September 20, 2006, 02:42 PM

I have.

Ladies aren't the only ones who can. I usually can't fool myself though because the stomach is still dry.

Or do you mean faking one when you are with someone else.
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  (#3)
whoa preppy......
 
Scot's Avatar
 
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September 20, 2006, 02:50 PM

it's been my experience that the female orgasm is a myth.


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  (#4)
I'm an Asshole
 
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Posts: 1,430
Join Date: January 17, 2006
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September 20, 2006, 02:51 PM

Here's my blog.

I Dare you to give me a red dot. Sucka

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...d-409abdd4f0cd

It was brought to my attention that today is Hump Day. And I thought about the sad fact that I have no one to hump. Then I thought about it even longer, and I realized I haven't humped on a wednesday in over 4 years. I mean I've done my share of humping, but it never fell on a wednesday. I was in the military and my lady friend was about 6 hours away. So I'd only get to hump on thursdays through tuesdays. Because 72's and 96's never fell on a wednesday. For me that meant a trip to NY for some power humping. Power humping is defined by humping with excessive force, so much that very little or no pleasure is felt by the reciever of said humping. Be warned that too much power humping can lead to fewer and shorter blow jobs. But I digress.

Let me impart this other little nugget of wisdom you men. Guys, never surprise your long distance girlfriend with a late night booty call. One of two things will happen. ONE: She will be wearing sexy underwear, with smooth legs, and a clean bed. To the naked eye this seems ideal. But after its sinks in that you haven't seen her in two months, you realize she's screwing someone from your old high school marching band. Girls don't wear thongs to bed and only shave once a week when their man isn't around. Don't ask how I know, I just do. Or TWO: She'll be sleeping in granny panties that look more brown than white, with hair on her legs so thick it looks like your mother's mustache. Most likely your boner will last you for your first one or two rubbers. But I defy you to use up that box of three. She'll be thinking it's sweet how you still want to make love in her unperfected state. And you'll be trying not to feel the stubble on her calves as it rubs your ass checks raw.

Now women, I haven't forgotten about you. Let me clue you in on something that is a well kept secret. Men fake orgasm's too. Guys, if you haven't faked one yet, then you're not having enough sex. Hell, I've had sex all of 4 times in the past year and I'm still batting a .250 with the times I've had to fake. Let's face it You're having sex with a condom. FIRST MISTAKE. Condoms are horrible for good sex. No possible way both parties can have great sex. So anyway, you're wearing a condom and all of the sudden the well is running a little dry. It gets harder and harder to push that chu chu through the tunnel. The condom is suffocating your weener like a pair of small briefs on tommy lee. You have two choices. Say nothing and pull off the ruber. This can be considered unethical in some states but is the prefered method if you never plan on seeing the female again. Or the only other way out is to fake an orgasm. SImple steps really. Use your hands and grab whatever they were previously grabbing twice as hard. Give an instructional command. Maybe "Harder" or "Faster". This lets the women think that the sudden change in pace is what's leading to your eruption. Let out a few controlled and muffled grunts and baa'am, you've saved yourself one embarrassing talk about erectial disfunction. You've also saved your girlfriend the shame in knowing her snatch is dryer than the grand canyon. And in some cases as wide. So ladies, keep faking yours. I appreciate the acting. It makes things a lot easier for me. Just know that we're doing the same.


If you can read this, give me a red dot
If you get mad when I type, do us both a favor.

Some recent rep I have been given:
-U-R-Gay (unsigned)
-you dont even ride you troll (unsigned)
-you are now 115% gay, ghey, and ghay (unsigned)
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  (#5)
Ling Long
 
YaoMatt's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,183
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September 20, 2006, 02:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by griffindj
I mean I've done my share of humping, but it never fell on a wednesday.
And for the grand finale...





Last edited by YaoMatt; September 20, 2006 at 02:57 PM..
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  (#6)
B
It goes to 11.
 
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September 20, 2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scot
it's been my experience that the female orgasm is a myth.
Then I have been sorely misled and duped.


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  (#7)
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September 20, 2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gixrben
Then I have been sorely misled and duped.
Women don't have "orgasms" in the traditional sense. The sexual "Climax" for women comes when she is handing you the tv remote and your sandwich after you have gone your full 3 minutes and are almost asleep.
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  (#8)
I'm so tired
 
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September 20, 2006, 04:35 PM

I have...and it was easy.


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  (#9)
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September 20, 2006, 05:03 PM

Yep.
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  (#10)
whoa preppy......
 
Scot's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,072
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Talking September 20, 2006, 05:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Space
Yep.

Did you just spit on the dude's back or do one of those "when harry met sally" type deals?


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  (#11)
Retired to most ...
 
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September 20, 2006, 05:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scot
Did you just spit on the dude's back or do one of those "when harry met sally" type deals?


I just realized YOU have a T.W.A.T. banner!!!



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  (#12)
Signed up for Track Days!
 
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September 20, 2006, 06:50 PM

So... I have faked many orgasms in my day. Luckily I do not have to anymore. If I do not orgasm, I simply tell my BF no worries, I will give him a chance to try again later. Later = within the next 12 hours minimum. It has been awhile for me since I have had sex on a Wednesday, almost two months. D

Dave- awesome post. You made my night exciting.



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  (#13)
Ride fast, ride safe
 
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September 20, 2006, 07:17 PM

I faked this poll.


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  (#14)
whoa preppy......
 
Scot's Avatar
 
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September 20, 2006, 07:39 PM

I faked reading your response. I also faked this message saying I faked it.


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  (#15)
Suddenly Superstitious!!!
 
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September 20, 2006, 08:01 PM

What they say is WRONG! You can have bad pizza...and you can certainly have bad sex. Gawd...in college I was bumping uglies with a girl I knew...and was praying she would just stop moving...speaking...breathing. She didn't just lack rhythm....she was from a different Effing galaxy. When that happens....just fake it!!!!!


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