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Fem-jokes... not PC, but hilarious!
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  (#1)
Knarly Adventurer
 
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Posts: 4,925
Join Date: March 22, 2006
Location: Omaha, NE
Red face Fem-jokes... not PC, but hilarious! - July 19, 2006, 09:06 AM

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never
be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !
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  (#2)
Addicted to Cajen food...
 
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July 19, 2006, 09:34 AM

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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  (#3)
Addicted to Cajen food...
 
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Location: Germantown MD
July 19, 2006, 09:35 AM

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes... NOTHING, you already told her TWICE... hahahahahahahaha
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  (#4)
GP Racer
 
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July 19, 2006, 09:50 AM

whats the first thing a woman returning from a battered wives meeting do when she gets home?

the dishes if she knows whats good for her......


Rampage "Why you got one shoe on and one shoe off?"
Rashad "Cause i was ready to break one off in your mother****ing ass!"
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Addicted to Cajen food...
 
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July 19, 2006, 09:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FUNx1000
whats the first thing a woman returning from a battered wives meeting do when she gets home?

the dishes if she knows whats good for her......
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
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  (#6)
In with the old
 
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Join Date: May 11, 2006
Location: Alexandria
July 19, 2006, 09:59 AM

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


ahahaha


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...d12_sig_08.jpg



"i went to a goth bar last night...and wore turquois"
"i wish my grass was emo so it could cut itself..."

999 - Evil When I Do Handstands

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...7165&q=PAPOOSE

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  (#7)
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July 19, 2006, 11:37 AM

Why did the woman cross the road?

Who give a fak, why is she out of the Kitchen!?


How do you fix the dishwasher?

Slap the b*tch and tell her to get back in the kitchen.


-
Attack Life! It's going to kill you anyway.

08 Z1000

Go Hokies!
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  (#8)
GP Champ
 
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Location: Centreville, VA
July 19, 2006, 11:47 AM

What do all the women at the battered women's shelter have in common?

They just... don't... LISTEN!!!


2001 GSXR 1000 (The bike that lit the afterburner on the liter class world)
2012 Monster 1100 Evo
2003 Yamaha YZFR6 (track only)

mmm... carbon fiber


Quote:
Originally Posted by No One Ever
Awesome Prius!
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  (#9)
Groundhogs can play dead
 
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July 19, 2006, 12:03 PM

The world's first woman-only parking lot:



Tanya
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  (#10)
Groundhogs can play dead
 
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July 19, 2006, 12:10 PM

see next post.


Tanya

Last edited by tfinch; July 19, 2006 at 12:16 PM..
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  (#11)
Groundhogs can play dead
 
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July 19, 2006, 12:15 PM

A man and a woman were stranded in an elevator together and they knew they were gonna die. Then the woman turns to the man and says "Make me feel like a woman before I die." So he takes off his clothes and says "Fold them!!"


One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

Confucius says man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out..."

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Some mornings I wake up grouchy...and some mornings I just let her sleep!

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

A fella puts a "wife wanted" ad in the classifieds. The next day he received 100 responses. They all said the same thing. "You can have mine."

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"



Tanya
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  (#12)
Italian segziness...
 
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July 19, 2006, 12:23 PM

too funny
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  (#13)
Addicted to Cajen food...
 
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July 19, 2006, 01:14 PM

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ Tanya
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  (#14)
Got Any Gwapes?
 
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July 19, 2006, 06:17 PM

I don't get this "battered women" thing, I've been eating mine plain for years...


"I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust"

*GODFATHER*
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  (#15)
Addicted to Cajen food...
 
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July 20, 2006, 05:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by boomboom929
I don't get this "battered women" thing, I've been eating mine plain for years...
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
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