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Former TSA screener's blog "Taking Sense Away"
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Former TSA screener's blog "Taking Sense Away" - December 21, 2012, 11:42 AM

Pretty hilarious read.

https://takingsenseaway.wordpress.com/


-Fitz

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December 21, 2012, 11:53 AM

That is a funny read. Honestly I just follow the rules like a sheep when it comes to airport security. I'm not afraid of the strip search, that would actually be welcomed. However, I don't want to be banned for the rest of my life from flying for getting mad and saying something stupid


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December 21, 2012, 11:55 AM

Skimmed a few paragraphs.

He has a certain literary flair.

I will be entertained by this.



“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a Prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires”.

- Nicolo Machiavelli 1469-1527

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December 21, 2012, 11:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by turkishexpress View Post
That is a funny read. Honestly I just follow the rules like a sheep when it comes to airport security. I'm not afraid of the strip search, that would actually be welcomed. However, I don't want to be banned for the rest of my life from flying for getting mad and saying something stupid
I've been known to let my displeasure be known to them. It will probably eventually result in an arrest.

One time, I went to detroit, and as usual, I checked my firearm in my checked bag.

I go up to the counter and ask for my red tag to check a firearm.
Lady was under the impression that I couldn't do that
said to her supervisor "Hey, this guy's got a gun"
difficulty: supervisor was on the other end of the counter. She had to yell to be heard
so there I am, she yells that, and suddenly the security guards / cops are taking an interest in me and walking over.

Not to mention all the passengers in line that suddenly were afraid of me.

i kept my hands visible until they got there, and said "im checking a firearm, and this nitwit decided to yell to her supervisor instead of being discreet"

Another time, one of the airports i used had a policy (like some do) of having THEIR employees physically verify that the gun is unloaded, instead of just handing over the locked case and putting it in the bag with the red tag.


So, this lady was in charge of verifying that firearms were unloaded. which she did not know how to do.

So, she asked me to clear it. Then couldn't tell "where the bullets would be if it were loaded"

I said "this is all a bunch of security theater. How in the hell can you sit there and be in charge of clearing weapons if you don't know how to do this."

TSA supervisor was like "There's no reason to be hostile, sir"

Fuck you, you fucking wannabe. Glorified fucking mall ninja


-Fitz

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December 21, 2012, 12:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fitz View Post
makes me weep for my tax dollars

also: apple butter...yum


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No one gives a fuck about your puff out your chest bravado.
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December 21, 2012, 12:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutch View Post
makes me weep for my tax dollars

also: apple butter...yum
Yeah. the snow globe thing was maddening. Those scanners that can test liquids cost a ton of money.

And aren't used.

OH, get this.... there was a lady who brought in some jams and jellies and shit my last detroit trip. Six canisters. ALL under the TSA limit.

TSA guy said they were "all together" and threw them away.

Fucking scumbags.


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December 21, 2012, 12:12 PM

LOL. love this blog.... "Do babies have more than 3.4 ounces of liquids in them?"

ahhaha


-Fitz

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December 21, 2012, 01:12 PM

HAHAHAHH
Quote:
I recall one time I did a bag check on a man from Detroit, once the auto-making capital of the world. Having been informed by the x-ray operator that there was a bottle of water in the bag, I pulled it out and quickly sensed that something was slightly off. Then, I realized what it was: there was an enormous dildo rubber-banded to it. I then had an epiphany, spreading over me like a sunrise, beautiful and exhilarating: he wanted me to have to deal with the dildo. He did it on purpose. In rubber-banding that dildo to the water bottle he knew we would target, he seemed to say:
“Yes, I have a dildo, federal officer. Even after the horrors of 9/11, I am still alive; full of vitality, love, sex and, later tonight, that large dildo rubber-banded to the water you are about to confiscate from me. That bottle of water, bought with hard-earned American dollars to relinquish my bodily fluids, so as to make me strong and keep the wheels of commerce of this great nation turning. In taking my water, I want you, federal officer, to know that the terrorists have won, and that you are complicit. I want you to see my dildo. To hold it in your hand; to know that I, as well as my fellow passengers and countrymen, are strong and resilient.
That we, the people of this great nation, can, and will, snap back, like that rubber band.”


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December 21, 2012, 03:11 PM

The TSA is a joke. Last time I flew, the TSA chick confiscated my pudding cup. I told her fat ass to enjoy it.
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December 21, 2012, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fitz View Post

TSA supervisor was like "There's no reason to be hostile, sir"

Fuck you, you fucking wannabe. Glorified fucking mall ninja
I love how they always try to make it sound as if you're being hostile because you questioned authority. It's cause they see a big dude too. lol


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December 21, 2012, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by turkishexpress View Post
I love how they always try to make it sound as if you're being hostile because you questioned authority. It's cause they see a big dude too. lol

Yeah on our way to the Netherlands to play some gigs my bandmate got arrested in Detroit airport after we got hosed on our original flight and had to sleep in the airport.

He was walking around the airport in his socks, no ID and saw the entrance where the hotel was connected. He leaned over and had said "damn I could have slept on that couch. TSA lady turns around and says "Sir, I did not see you come in you'll have to go back out and get rescanned"

He said "Um I slept here last night, my stuff is with my bandmates where we slept down there, I don't have my boarding pass or ID or shoes"

She told him he'd have to leave and come back in and get a new boarding pass. That's when things got good...He told them "I'd rather you just shoot me in the head than have to deal with this bullshit" Welp apparently THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY IN AN AIRPORT!

Needless to say, he still beat us to the Netherlands after leaving the airport to get booked by Wayne Co Police while we had to fly to Chicago to make a connecting flight. Oh and he also got 6 free drink tickets and a direct flight into Amsterdam.
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December 21, 2012, 07:26 PM

Had a small set of Allen wrenches confiscated once.. no tools allowed on the plane. I thought it was pretty funny.. the fuck am I gonna do? Start taking the seat apart?
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December 21, 2012, 07:30 PM

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Originally Posted by drz1050 View Post
Had a small set of Allen wrenches confiscated once.. no tools allowed on the plane. I thought it was pretty funny.. the fuck am I gonna do? Start taking the seat apart?
Fuckin dumbass TSA


-Fitz

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December 23, 2012, 09:17 AM

I know a friend who has taken these things on planes regularly since 9/11. He is not a terrorist, and doesnt do it to be illegal, its half accidental/half disconcern. if he needs this shit, and carries it with him.

knives. complete tool bags with every tool imaginable. flammable aerosol. lots of rope. duct tape. lighters. flammable deodorant, but spray and roll on. trash bags. and once, completely accidentally, stuff that goes in those things that make loud noises. the bad things. I honestly dont think there is a single time he has traveled and not gotten something onto a plane he shouldnt. the only time he EVER got caught with something he shouldnt have had was in europe they found a knife in a carry on, after a connecting flight, and just made him check it. so yeah. hes the kinda cat that would hand out weapons and start stabbing motherfuckers if people tried to hijack a plane though, so its not all bad. the tsa is a bunch of retards. just get racial if they piss you off. gonna be ignorant and violate me, I can do the same, legally.

or, if you want to get someone fired, just do this. take something they wont fuck with you about, like a pocket knife, or a large folding knife you dont value. 99% of the time they wont see it. if a tsa agent is a particularly shitty person. get through security, then ask for their supervisor. take out the knife and hand it to them, in front of a bunch of passengers, and proclaim you forgot it was in your bag, and you needed to hand it over, and THAT agent missed it. video tape it. hahahahahaha. fuck the tsa.

everything I said above is untrue. internet lolz.
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December 23, 2012, 10:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HellraiserinDC View Post
Yeah on our way to the Netherlands to play some gigs my bandmate got arrested in Detroit airport after we got hosed on our original flight and had to sleep in the airport.

He was walking around the airport in his socks, no ID and saw the entrance where the hotel was connected. He leaned over and had said "damn I could have slept on that couch. TSA lady turns around and says "Sir, I did not see you come in you'll have to go back out and get rescanned"

He said "Um I slept here last night, my stuff is with my bandmates where we slept down there, I don't have my boarding pass or ID or shoes"

She told him he'd have to leave and come back in and get a new boarding pass. That's when things got good...He told them "I'd rather you just shoot me in the head than have to deal with this bullshit" Welp apparently THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY IN AN AIRPORT!

Needless to say, he still beat us to the Netherlands after leaving the airport to get booked by Wayne Co Police while we had to fly to Chicago to make a connecting flight. Oh and he also got 6 free drink tickets and a direct flight into Amsterdam.
Care to share how did he get to Amsterdam before you and get 6 free drinks on the way there?


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