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Typical Stripper
Nudist's Avatar
Posts: 16,605
Join Date: May 27, 2005
Location: Between old and slow
July 1, 2005, 12:40 PM

Here's a story from the VFR list. It's author is "JES on a Very Red VFR". Quite a tale...

I live in this little borough. It is small enough that there are no stop lines before the crosswalks at the traffic lights. So I pull up at this one light, I'm in the left side of the left turn lane which is pretty much the middle of the street. My front tire is completely behind the painted line of the crosswalk. My right hand is lightly on the brake as well as my right foot is holding the bike in the rear. In the right lane next to me is silver grey Ford Crown Vic with municipal plates. I did not bother to register who or what might be driving.

As I'm waiting for the light to cycle, this woman dressed in an expensive business suit steps off the curb on my right side. She is talking on her cell phone, with it held up to her left ear. She looks to her right (away from all the traffic she just stepped in front of) and rapidly starts to cross the street. And she is loud I can hear her talking to her assistant about filing some forms for some settlement.

I tuned her out and looked back up at the left turn only traffic light. All of a sudden, bang the VFR lurches to my left pulling the bars out of my hands and this lady smacks her face on street! The cell phone bounces about twice and breaks into several pieces and I heard her sunglasses crunch on the concrete.

She shrieks like a banshee and jumps up only to stumble on her shoe’s broken heel. Her knees are bloody, as is her left hand along the outside edge and her nose looks pretty badly scraped. She screams at me "what the F*&k do you think you are doing. I'll have you arrested for Assault. Somebody call 911, this idiot just tried to run me over!"

I notice that She still has the grip of her briefcase in her right hand (but only the grip) and her knuckles are bleeding as well. I also scan the intersection and see a couple of people on the sidewalk now dialing
Their cell phones.

With my left hand I reach in and cut the key, putting it in my pocket. I turn and look back to make sure that the guy behind me sees that I'm not going anywhere. The guy driving is pounding on the steering wheel laughing histerically.

She steps right up to the side of my motorcycle and starts screaming at me "Get the F... off that thing, you Son of a B!tch, Get off that F..king bike NOW! or so help me I'll kill you M...F". But even if I
wanted to, I could not get off the bike at that instant because she is so close I would have to knock her down to swing my leg off.

At that moment the silver crown blasts across the street and screeches to a stop. The door opens and this guy in grey slacks and a sport coat gets out. He jogs back across the intersection and pulls the woman back about six feet, getting his body between us. He turns to me and says, "I saw you pull the key, don't move," as he starts to force the woman to walk back over to the curb. I hear the sirens that our cops use to clear intersections, and see the flashing lights in the rearview.

He's trying to get her to sit down on bus stop bench, but she just keeps trying to jump up and I guess take a run at me. I put my gloved hands on the tank, still trying to comprehend what is happening. The cop pulls up behind the guy behind me, and motions that he should go around. When the guy does (still laughing) the cop pulls forward some before he stops and gets out. He's halfway to me, when the woman starts screaming "He hit me with that f....ing motorcycle, deliberately...." then starts sobbing again. "don't move a muscle," the cop tells me and goes over to check her out. He's talking on the radio the whole way over. I see him start talking to the gent that got out of the grey car, they seem to know each other.

About then a second unit shows up. The second cop walks up on my left and bellows,"why are you still wearing that helmet, Take it off. And get off the bike."

"Wait," yells over the guy in grey. The second cop holds up his hand and bellows, "don't move". The guy in grey walks back over to me. "Straighten that front tire" the guy in grey says, and the second uniform backs up a couple of steps.

I pull the VFR bars back to straight and look at the grey suit. He stands over the front tire and looks down a the cross walk paint for a minute. "Okay, put the kickstand down, get your helmet and gloves off and the officer will need your license and insurance." he says as he starts to walk back to the curb.

I shuck the gloves and helmet, put the stand down carefully and start to pull out my wallet. The cop standing next to me yells over, "what am I charging him with?" "Nothing, we just need his info for the report and then he can go," says the grey suit.

The woman screams "What, You can't do that, I don't know who you think you are, but I know the mayor and the chief of police, they won't let that maniac get away with this"

He dude in the grey suit says, "I don't know who you think you are
lady, but I am the police chief, and I saw you walk into his front wheel because you were too busy on your cell phone. He was not in the cross walk nor was he moving when you fell over his front wheel." At which point she just totally lost it and started bawling like the end of the world was coming.

Needless to say in another twenty minutes I was told I was free to go and given a copy of the incident report form in case I needed to report an damage claim with my insurance company.


Well it turns out that she is the chief legal counsel in one of the largest commercial real estate firms in the area. And I happen to train in Kenpo Karate with the CEO and part owner of the firm. If, as some have wished, I had a video running a the time, I would probably drop a copy to my friend Ken to show him how calm and composed his legal counsel is.

I have a feeling that she would not be there much longer.

I not going to sue her, especially since I understand the chief cited her for violating some borough laws regarding crossing at a traffic light and blocking traffic or something like that.

Note: There is no justice in the world: all the VFR riders get the babes.

Nate CCS/ASRA #29 - www.nudebikesracing.com - 2012 MARRC AM Racer of the Year

Ticket2Speed, RnR Cycles, Twin Works Factory, Scorpion Helmets, Pro Speed Racing Apparel, Vortex, DC-Moto.net/Amsoil, Dunlop, Sharkskinz, DCSportbikes.net
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JDogg5's Avatar
Posts: 361
Join Date: June 11, 2003
Location: Crystal City
July 1, 2005, 12:48 PM

That is f'ing great.
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Resident Rodent
Magic-Rat's Avatar
Posts: 2,717
Join Date: November 25, 2003
Location: Manassas
July 1, 2005, 12:50 PM

Excellent ...

- Rat

"Ride to the sound of the guns."

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Brainwash Your Face!
boomchic00's Avatar
Posts: 17,231
Join Date: June 4, 2003
July 1, 2005, 12:58 PM

"Someone should donkey punch that bitch with a waffle iron then upload the video to World Star Hip Hop" ~.Nets Resident Chivalrous Gentlemen Stillie

Gasoline by The Bouncing Souls

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whats in your drink?
DRAGULA's Avatar
Posts: 7,808
Join Date: May 25, 2004
Location: Mineral VA. If you know where it is you can pass go
July 1, 2005, 12:59 PM

Darwin award?

Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!
Take care of new riders, we were them, and they will be us.
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Got my Permit
winrz's Avatar
Posts: 55
Join Date: April 21, 2005
Location: Ashburn, VA
July 1, 2005, 02:43 PM

just love stories like this about people ready to 'mentally crumble' who get what they deserve. hope she is in a small room somewhere rocking back and forth singing '...jesus loves me, yes he does..'
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Pleased to meet me
nunyadambusiness's Avatar
Posts: 5,227
Join Date: April 4, 2003
Location: moon
July 1, 2005, 03:08 PM

The VFR list has some great stuff. My fav was the story of a guy that would heat up potatoes and put them in his jacket during the winter. VFRs rule.
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Ballaugh Bridge
CrazyMotorcycleGuy's Avatar
Posts: 6,873
Join Date: September 29, 2002
Location: VA
July 1, 2005, 07:32 PM

I've been subscribed to the list since '99. It's a great bunch of true enthusiasts.

'08 MARRC Expert Racer of the Year
2009 #3 Combined Overall Championship

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Retired to most ...
JohnnySpeed1KRR's Avatar
Posts: 7,646
Join Date: May 17, 2005
Location: NoVa
July 2, 2005, 12:24 PM

I'll now check it out cause that was fuckin great!!!

God Speed Jeff! You'll never be forgotten.

BOOSTZX3 : in all seriousness head injuries ain't no joke. I've had around 10 concussions and now I ride a Buell Don't let it happen to you!
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