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I was made to witness this today
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  (#1)
Disturbed is who I be
 
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Join Date: May 1, 2006
Location: P.G. County
Lightbulb I was made to witness this today - December 29, 2009, 01:05 AM

Got a lil story to share wit yall.....

Every once in a while the company I work for decides to elect folks at random to do a drug test....I guess to catch folks slip'n....if you know what I mean?

Low and behold they decided to pick dear ol Me...cool...no biggie...drugs aint my cup of tea, so there's nothing to worry about.

Moving on I'm watch'n the clerk behind the desk explain the procedures to this African Kat on how to take the drug test. She instructs this individual that he is to urinate in the cup, filling it at least halfway. She also hands him this thin litmus paper stick thing to urinate on as well (this is to test the protein in your urine if you didn't know), following it up with DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET TILL YOUR INSTRUCTED TO.

So my man walks into the bathroom to handle his bizz.....dude walks out and all I heard was this loud remark coming from the clerk. "OH GOD.....NO!!!! YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO DEFECATE ON THE STICK...YOUR SUPPOSE TO URINATE ON IT....PLEASE THROW IT IN THE TRASH CAN....AND PLEASE FLUSH THAT TOILET NOW!!!!

Do you know that I almost pissed myself laughing so hard up in that camp!!!!!!? My stomach was hurting so bad I thought I was gonna die!!!!!!!!

Wordz from my Man Rick James (may he R.I.P.)...cocaine is a hell of a drug


I'd rather be riding my Bike think'n about God than be in Church think'n about my Bike.

"Da PrOwLeR"
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  (#2)
cake > pie
 
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December 29, 2009, 01:59 AM

ROFLMAO
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  (#3)
poz top looking 4 neg bot
 
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December 29, 2009, 02:17 AM

what an idiot

you're supposed to piss on the test strip and shit in the cup


horsepower is how fast you hit the wall, torque is how far you take the wall with you
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  (#4)
I was sleeping
 
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December 29, 2009, 05:14 AM




KEV~
NESBA # 401
2002 Honda 919
2003 Yamaha R6(05-09 SOLD)

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  (#5)
GP Champ
 
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December 29, 2009, 06:02 AM



.................................................. ..................
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClemsonJeeper View Post
Since MJ was 99% plastic, they're going to melt him down to make some lego blocks so kids can play with him for a
change.
.................................................. .......................
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  (#6)
got barrier?
 
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December 29, 2009, 07:19 AM



DUCATI MONSTER
rubber ducky?!
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  (#7)
Mojito Anyone?
 
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December 29, 2009, 07:28 AM



ay ya yay
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  (#8)
The last urrbendah
 
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Location: Kickin' it with Stevie Janowski
December 29, 2009, 07:33 AM

LMFAO!!!!

When I was in the Army we were always subjected to random urinalysis. A most embarrassing ordeal for everyone involved. On the one side, the person being tested had to deal with another dude staring at his junk. On the other, an NCO who had to stare at junk all day.

So this dude in my platoon had a rough night of drinking and bad mexican the night before. He got a horrific case of bubbleguts just as he was going in to piss. So bad in fact that I'm pretty sure he prairie-dogged when walking through the door. So the conversation went back and forth about him having to shit and "NO I"M NOT STANDING HERE WHILE YOU DO THAT."

In the end, both did their duty. The testee willfully submitted his sample for the cup and the tester observed the sample being given.....while dude blew up the shitter. It was a tragic loss for all involved.


13 KTM 200 XC-W
15 KTM 350 XC-F

I might have a dirt bike problem.
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opossum puncher
 
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December 29, 2009, 08:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillie View Post
It was a tragic loss for all involved.
Hahahahahahaha!


-
Attack Life! It's going to kill you anyway.

08 Z1000

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T.R.I.T.D.H
 
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December 29, 2009, 10:39 AM

NCAA Drug Tests were the worst b/c you have to piss with your pants at your thighs/knees...lol...bare ass all out

Kinda the same way you did as a kid when you went to piss pulle your pants down damn near around your ankles and shit.


What do you value more? Life or Image?

"I don't ride, I usually just sit around wearing a tshirt and my icon back protector and talk shit about anyone who does not have a liter bike. That's how you can pick me out of a crowd. I also wear a red tophat."
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Derpentine Dealer
 
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December 29, 2009, 10:55 AM

A little bit off topic but not too far. One time during my year in Baltimore I was taking a leak and a dude rushed in and bolted straight for a stall. I finished up and went to the sink. A voice came from the stall saying, "Uh, you may just want to head on down the road, chief. I've held as long as I can... lot of drinking last night. You know, it ain't gonna be pretty, if you know what I mean." So I laughed, said, "Ok man, good luck" and gtfo. I was impressed that he gave me a chance to run and take cover.


How's my posting? Please direct all concerns and inquiries to DCSBN's chief content manager, Hollywood, via PM.
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MA! THE MEATLOAF!!!!!!!!!
 
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December 29, 2009, 12:06 PM



R.I.P. JEFF VEGA



Slow: Well, that was a bad idea because jamming the turd back in caused the gas behind it to back up and just about the time I went in for what probably would have been the thrust that got the turd out of my way, the gas exploded. It shot my dick and the turd out like a rocket. Now, if getting your dick explosively expelled from your chick's ass and then getting hit in the gut with a flying turd doesn't make your dick soft, you're a better man than I am.
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  (#13)
Your Ad Here
 
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December 29, 2009, 12:51 PM

2 Girls - 1 Cup



“Any man who tries to be good all the time is bound to come to ruin among the great number who are not good. Hence a Prince who wants to keep his authority must learn how not to be good, and use that knowledge, or refrain from using it, as necessity requires”.

- Nicolo Machiavelli 1469-1527

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  (#14)
kay, I'll pull your hair
 
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December 29, 2009, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zagg87t View Post
Got a lil story to share wit yall.....

Every once in a while the company I work for decides to elect folks at random to do a drug test....I guess to catch folks slip'n....if you know what I mean?

Low and behold they decided to pick dear ol Me...cool...no biggie...drugs aint my cup of tea, so there's nothing to worry about.

Moving on I'm watch'n the clerk behind the desk explain the procedures to this African Kat on how to take the drug test. She instructs this individual that he is to urinate in the cup, filling it at least halfway. She also hands him this thin litmus paper stick thing to urinate on as well (this is to test the protein in your urine if you didn't know), following it up with DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET TILL YOUR INSTRUCTED TO.

So my man walks into the bathroom to handle his bizz.....dude walks out and all I heard was this loud remark coming from the clerk. "OH GOD.....NO!!!! YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO DEFECATE ON THE STICK...YOUR SUPPOSE TO URINATE ON IT....PLEASE THROW IT IN THE TRASH CAN....AND PLEASE FLUSH THAT TOILET NOW!!!!

Do you know that I almost pissed myself laughing so hard up in that camp!!!!!!? My stomach was hurting so bad I thought I was gonna die!!!!!!!!

Wordz from my Man Rick James (may he R.I.P.)...cocaine is a hell of a drug
Ahem, I realize I'm new and all, but I just can't sit idle on this one. I'm sorry but that's racist !!
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2 wheels for life
 
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December 29, 2009, 03:53 PM



Adrenaline Addict
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