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I need your MOST ridiculous call-out sick excuse!!!
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  (#1)
What's today? aah fuck it
 
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Talking I need your MOST ridiculous call-out sick excuse!!! - March 27, 2008, 10:48 AM

Here's the deal, there's this PTO thing goin on here at work which is supposed to be used by the end of this month. It works like this: you take any number of days off, and they match it. Before this new boss aka Napoleon got here and made some policy changes, it used to be that you could schedule to take those PTO days after march...as long as u requested them before the deadline.

So....bottom line is, I just tried to schedule those free days and they wont let me use them its for after the end of March deadline. BUT...monday of next week is still technically March, and since I can't request that day thru the proper channels due to a 2 weeks notice on PTO requests...all I have left is to call in sick.

This is where u guys come in...I need some ideas on what to call in sick with on monday. My boss already senses that I will. He can't do anything about it though. But just as a big fuck you to him...i wanna call him on monday and make up the most ridiculous excuse for calling out that day.

here's one off the top: "I have a family emergency, The CDC is making us take my grandmother's pet monkey to get tested for the eibola virus today! So I have to go take her"

...i'll be calling with one of the suggestions u guys post. haha
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March 27, 2008, 10:52 AM

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March 27, 2008, 10:55 AM

just dont show up at all, no calls or anything...when they contact u, just simply say " Wow, I had a dream that I got up and went into work today"


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March 27, 2008, 10:57 AM

If you really wanna call in sick and make it believable, which you dont, the runs, diarrhea, etc, its embarrassing enough that no one will carry on a conversation and question it.

For fun tell him your church is having an emergency meeting and they have asked you to bring the kool-aid.


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March 27, 2008, 10:58 AM

Tel him you have your period and your cramps are so bad you can't come in to work today.


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March 27, 2008, 10:58 AM

During the height of the SARS phenomen, Lee called in sick to work from VIR and said that he had SARS and wouldn't be in that day. Meanwhile, bikes were screaming past on the straight.


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March 27, 2008, 10:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zx6rfool
For fun tell him your church is having an emergency meeting and they have asked you to bring the kool-aid.


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March 27, 2008, 11:06 AM

Tell him "I was teabagging your wife yesterday and I have this horrible itch now, I gotta go get this checked out so I won't be able to make it in. You may want to go get checked as well."


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March 27, 2008, 11:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nudist
Anal Glaucoma - I can't see my ass coming into work today
+1


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March 27, 2008, 11:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zx6rfool
For fun tell him your church is having an emergency meeting and they have asked you to bring the kool-aid.
+1

lol
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March 27, 2008, 11:41 AM

tell them ur the guy thats pregnant and you have to do some testing for the next couple of days!!


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March 27, 2008, 11:45 AM

I fire people for doing that ish. Don't ever work for me punk. If you request time off and I say no, then no is no. Don't call out sick that day. You're fired!

But explosive diarrhea keeps you out of the cube for a day.
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March 27, 2008, 12:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madali
I fire people for doing that ish. Don't ever work for me punk. If you request time off and I say no, then no is no. Don't call out sick that day. You're fired!

But explosive diarrhea keeps you out of the cube for a day.
+1... It sucks that a new boss has changed the rules and/or isn't allowing for past conditions... However, I would not put yourself on his radar and/or call out sick for a bogus excuse.. It's one thing to arrange to take a sick day in advance, but it's another to leave someone short handed at the last minute for something other than being sick. I have been known to call in other co-workers for coverage when some pulls a fast one like that, and they take care of the bad behavior for me....


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  (#14)
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March 27, 2008, 12:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nudist
Anal Glaucoma - I can't see my ass coming into work today
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  (#15)
Ling Long
 
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March 27, 2008, 12:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madali
I fire people for doing that ish. Don't ever work for me punk. If you request time off and I say no, then no is no. Don't call out sick that day. You're fired!

But explosive diarrhea keeps you out of the cube for a day.
+1
I'd fire you in a heart beat. And, when you tried to file a wrongful termination suit I'd bring you up on charges for malingering.... Such is life.


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