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That Just Happened
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TPG - screw face
 
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That Just Happened - August 17, 2009, 10:51 AM

so for the longest (prolly 3-4 days) my ex was complaining of a "stinky foot" smell in her place...we searched hi and lo...even pushed each other's feet up to our noses to verify it wasn't one of us...so we're like

This morning, she still is complaining about it. So being the man...i get low on the carpet, literally smelling the carpet - nothing but freshness (she's a clean freak so it was really buggin the hell outta her and the fabreze she has, lavender - smells great to her, but kills me hahaha so the constant spraying of it was NOT working haha)

so in the car this morning she goes "ya know, i think it is ur feet cuz i smelled it in the closet where you had ur shoes, but i smelled the inside of your shoe and smelled nothing" i say ? hahah in the car we were dying from the smell this morning srsly....she HAS to have the AC on, and i like the windows down - she always wins everyday of course, but today it makes no sense to ride with the AC on and windows down hahahah it was hilarious

so i'm sittin here at work....literally dying hoping no one smells it in my office haha. I do payroll so i'm always looking down at paper..ugh the smell is coming up..fuck i'm about to pass out. So i say to myself, this CANNOT be my feet, so I take my shoe off and smell the inside freshness.....now these are the mesh Cool Max Adidas (I love these shoes, super comfy) tell me I turn my damn shoe over and OMG the biggest dog shit shit is all packed up in my shoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was dry and shit but it didn't smell like shit, just that locker room musty foot smell - so it never dawned on us to check the bottom of the shoes

so i tell my boss and the receptionst and they were like, yea, we smelled something....srsly wtf...hahah i was like uh..were ya gonna tell me???!!! hahaha they were like, "tell you how" i was like dang gee i dunno something like "damn nigga you stink" hahah something...

so I go to the bathroom - end up using a letter opener (the one shaped like a knife) and pry off the first layer of dried dog shit to a layer of moist dog shit and OMG fucking maggots pour out. Those little fuckers were tryna get outta the sink so I spray everything with that lysol 99% bacteria and odor spray, and damn near take a bath in the Purell sanitizer

so I finally get the shoe clean, it's soaked in Lysol and Purell - and I'm sitting at work with one shoe off and one shoe on haha obviously i'll be getting new kicks. Oh and for lunch...I have white rice.












did you put 2 and 2 together and figure that i basically had my nose in that shit while sniffing the carpet




this is my FML entry

Last edited by Oneway; August 17, 2009 at 10:55 AM..
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August 17, 2009, 10:55 AM



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August 17, 2009, 11:04 AM



Quote:
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I watch a LOT of gay porn.
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August 17, 2009, 11:10 AM

LOL wow D. Niceee, the mystery smell. You didn't notice that jank on your shoe?

Oh and Gold Bond your janks everyday, feet and socks and then again when you get home.
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August 17, 2009, 11:10 AM

shit!


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August 17, 2009, 11:11 AM

so I go to the bathroom - end up using a letter opener (the one shaped like a knife) and pry off the first layer of dried dog shit to a layer of moist dog shit and OMG fucking maggots pour out. Those little fuckers were tryna get outta the sink so I spray everything with that lysol 99% bacteria and odor spray, and damn near take a bath in the Purell sanitizer




Def. my favorite part


Quote:
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I watch a LOT of gay porn.
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August 17, 2009, 11:14 AM

Damn cuz you always be having some outlandish shyt happenin to yo ass.....


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August 17, 2009, 11:23 AM

haha i know right.

I just told my X i figured out the smell and everything and she saw me grab the rice for lunch and she emailed me back laughing hysterically while quoting the song from Flushed Away "that's not rice you're eating...it's maggots...you're eating maggots"
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August 17, 2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneway View Post
haha i know right.

I just told my X i figured out the smell and everything and she saw me grab the rice for lunch and she emailed me back laughing hysterically while quoting the song from Flushed Away "that's not rice you're eating...it's maggots...you're eating maggots"
That shyt reminds of the movie Lost Boys when he starts eating his rice and it turns into maggots.....classic...


- Craig

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'04 R1 aka "The Bastard"
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August 17, 2009, 11:29 AM

She's not your Ex.... really.


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August 17, 2009, 11:34 AM

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She's not your Ex.... really.


And, um, ew!


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August 17, 2009, 11:34 AM

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She's not your Ex.... really.

+ 1


RIP Jeff Vega 10/06/09 You will forever ride on in our hearts
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August 17, 2009, 11:35 AM



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August 17, 2009, 11:37 AM

of the entire story the craziest part is that you still call her the x


E che cazzo!
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August 17, 2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneway View Post
so for the longest (prolly 3-4 days) my ex was complaining of a "stinky foot" smell in her place...we searched hi and lo...even pushed each other's feet up to our noses to verify it wasn't one of us...so we're like

this is my FML entry


May email this around to some people


Quote:
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I watch a LOT of gay porn.
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