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CrazyMotorcycleGuy
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Need advice on finding my dad
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Need advice on finding my dad - April 29, 2010, 07:08 PM

I usually BS on here and usually stick my foot (or a kimber, boom) and get sometimes flamed, but Im in need of some serious shit this time.

So Ive been having some crazy dreams about a dad, Ive never met.

Ive been trying for the last 10 or so years to find some information about who my real dad is. My mom wont say jack. I even asked about sickle cell in my dads family history when my first child was born. Nada, zip. My grandma and 1 aunt doesnt know anything (unless they're keeping mums on it). I still got 5 more relatives to ask, but its looking grim.

Anyways Ive always been suspicious because up until middle school I went by my mothers maiden name. We move to a different area and I guess they needed a birth certificate (BC) to enroll. All of a sudden I got a new last name.

I had to get a copy of my BC for a passport a couple of years ago and it had my dads name on it. I googled and did searches with very slim results. By an off chance the last couple of days, I saw an article but the name was slighty different (an O instead of an A).

Its the same dude that my brother told me was our dad. My brother said the guy denied he was our dad, and made it clear that he has a family. Oh and thats another thing. My brother has my mom's maiden name too.

I dont think me and my brother look alike, so we might have different dads too. Still trying to work this out.

Anyways, can some of you give me some advice to find out how I might go tracking him down.

I dont mind giving out my last name, but Ill wait till things look promising.

Any advice would be greatly welcomed. Serious only.


Quote:
Originally Posted by vonstallin View Post
Stinky:
.........
Im so excited im about to pre-blast in my pants.....then....it hits me...
I smell her arm pits and i damn near threw up!!!!
..........
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April 29, 2010, 07:37 PM

Do you have a SSN or DOB for him?


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April 29, 2010, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SVbadguy View Post
Do you have a SSN or DOB for him?
Only thing I got is the name on the BC, which may be off. I dont know if the dad had to be present to be put on the certificate. She (my mom) could have gave a slightly off name or it may have been recorded wrong.


Quote:
Originally Posted by vonstallin View Post
Stinky:
.........
Im so excited im about to pre-blast in my pants.....then....it hits me...
I smell her arm pits and i damn near threw up!!!!
..........
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April 29, 2010, 08:04 PM

The guy that your brother says is the guy, start there. Get his DNA from something and have it tested. Get creative, maybe hire a PI.
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April 29, 2010, 08:07 PM

+1 on hiring a PI. That really is your best recourse. I wish you the best of luck.


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April 29, 2010, 08:10 PM

http://www.mauryshow.com/


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April 29, 2010, 08:44 PM

I am a PI. Even if a PI found him they're not going to give you contact info for him. They'll just tell him you're looking for him and can provide him with your info if you want. Whether he contacts you is up to him.


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April 29, 2010, 08:46 PM

talk to your mom more. she has to know something.


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April 29, 2010, 08:58 PM

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Dude listen to Travis. He won't steer you wrong.


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April 29, 2010, 10:26 PM

This is the biggest bunch of BS thats come out my moms mouth. I was on the very of going off. I asked her why are our (mine and his) names are different. She said how is his spelled. So I said "m-o-n" and she asked me how is mine spelled. WTF! I was speachless

Basically he was in the service when I was born. But at least she said it looked like him. Like she was ashamed to say "thats your dad". I didnt want to ask is that my dad? I wanted her to say it.

The friggin sucks.

Im gonna search this nigga out! Moms is still hush hush like she is embarrassed or something. WTF!!!!!

Cant believe Ive been walking around with a last name that is not directly tied to my dad.

FAIL!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by vonstallin View Post
Stinky:
.........
Im so excited im about to pre-blast in my pants.....then....it hits me...
I smell her arm pits and i damn near threw up!!!!
..........

Last edited by hfam95; April 29, 2010 at 10:29 PM..
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April 29, 2010, 10:30 PM

I think it's time to go off on your mom. Hiding your dad's identity from you is not acceptable.
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April 29, 2010, 10:57 PM

Maybe try a FOIA request for military service records.

http://www.archives.gov/st-louis/mil...al-public.html
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April 29, 2010, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scot View Post


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zice View Post
I think it's time to go off on your mom. Hiding your dad's identity from you is not acceptable.
Yea man your grown as shit it's time fo the truth!!
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April 29, 2010, 11:20 PM

Real talk. Forget about hiring a PI or searching databases.
It's time to have a adult to adult talk with your mother, man.
You need to sit your mother down, stand up and look her dead in the eye and say

"You do not have the right to withhold information about my father from me for your own selfish and/or shameful reasons."

Her denying you YOUR right to know who you true biological father is is not only selfish but also harmful to your relationship with her. There are a host of psychological and medical reason why you need to know as well.


Now I caution you, what you find out you may not like. And if you seek him out, the response you get may not be pleasant.
My father was born out of an affair back in the 40's. My grandmother rolled in the hay with a married white college professor while her husband was off in Europe fighting WW2.

After years of being lied to, my father was finally told who his real father was in his late teens. It was pretty hard to keep explaining away why he looked like Ricky Ricardo and his brother and sister looked anything but.

He sought the guy out and lets just say the exchange was not pleasant. The guy basically slammed the door in my father's face and told him never to contact him or approach "his" family ever again.

Fast forward 50 years, my father has a few medical conditions including two non-working kidneys, conditions that NO ONE on his mother's side of family has. Clearly this was probably something that was a predisposed genetic condition that was passed on and could have been avoided had he know about his father and his family's medical history.



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April 30, 2010, 07:49 AM

Good luck dude. Be good to get some closure and shiz.

But yeah the PI thing would be best bet

or

http://www.freeprf.com/birth_parents.html <--- they say to check out ancestry.com and geneaologybank.com

Last edited by b00st; April 30, 2010 at 08:31 AM..
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