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shitmydadsays
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shitmydadsays - August 25, 2009, 02:38 PM

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

  • Name Justin
  • Bio I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

----------

Been reading it for a bit. Some days are pretty funny.

"Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in Tennessee, I think.
"10:22 AM Aug 11th from web


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August 25, 2009, 02:49 PM

HAHAHAHA! I want to drink with this guy. If I knew him I would hang out as much as possible!

"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."

"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."
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August 25, 2009, 02:58 PM

yeah the old guy reminds me of an old uncle i had. Pretty quick witted. Always funny!


This post was prepared as a service to the DCSportbikes.net community. Neither the DCSportbikes.net ADMINS nor any of the moderators, makes any warranty, expressed or implied, or assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, product, link, or process disclosed, or represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by DCSportbikes.net. The opinions of this author expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the DCSportbikes.net community, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes.
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It's not you, its ME!!
 
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August 25, 2009, 08:26 PM



You're dad seems like a riot....
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August 25, 2009, 08:33 PM



Right up the 1 hole.
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Retired to most ...
 
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August 25, 2009, 10:09 PM

It's Adrain 30 years from now!!!!


God Speed Jeff! You'll never be forgotten.

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August 25, 2009, 10:45 PM

I think the old guy is just being himself. I don't think he is trying to be quick witted, I am sure he is just saying what comes to mind. Hell, I bet he does not think he is funny at all. Knew a couple of old fellas like this. They are fun to be around.


OVER? did you say "Over"? Nothing is over until we decide its over, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!!!

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August 26, 2009, 05:45 AM

Haha good find.


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August 26, 2009, 07:48 AM

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."



haha


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August 26, 2009, 07:55 AM



This is awesome!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillie View Post
I'm not saying this site has a bunch of gay dudes on it but a few of you definitely lack a bumpstop on the sexuality gate.
Quote:
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Here is my anus! Deliver thy penis unto it!


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September 11th 2009
You are missed
Godspeed
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November 11, 2009, 09:50 AM

this guy now gets to make a TV show.

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainmen...mgvu1YL9pEFElM

Tweet smell of success

By MAXINE SHEN
Last Updated: 3:46 AM, November 11, 2009
Posted: 2:48 AM, November 11, 2009
Justin Halpern, 29, still lives at home -- and he's just turned his four-month-old Twitter site into a TV series for CBS.
Who says the Internet is a dark, lonley place?
Halpern's story may soon be the stuff of slacker legend and give Hollywood a whole new path to show-biz success.
Last August, the screenwriter-wannabe was forced to move back with his parents in San Diego after breaking up with his girlfriend.
While living there -- saving money while working remotely as a maxim.com editor -- he started a Twitter page to chronicle the outrageously funny things that his 73-year-old, retired father said.
He called the site something unprintable here -- "S- - - My Dad Says."
And it was an overnight, Internet smash, attracting more than 700,000 followers in a month's time.
Yesterday, CBS announced that they'd signed him to write a family sitcom based on the Tweets. The series will be overseen by "Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick.
Of course, the key to the whole story is Halpern's father, Samuel, who is wise, funny and more than a little profane -- a digital world Scrooge who says things like: "Son, no one gives a sh*** about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."
Halpern, who majored in TV and film production at San Diego State University, says that his screenwriting background "was actually why I had put those Tweets up. I was thinking that maybe someday, I would use the things my dad said in a script, so I was just trying to keep a record of them" that couldn't be deleted.
Skeptics might think that the Tweets are a little too polished to be real, but Halpern insists that they are essentially verbatim.
"The most that I'll do is change a word here or there to make it fit in the 140 [characters allotted by Twitter]," Halpern says. As proof, he says he has "a couple of recordings of my dad leaving messages on my voicemails," which he'll put up on a Web site -- one of these days.
Meanwhile the elder Halpern -- who "worked in nuclear medicine," says Justin -- couldn't be less interested in his new fame.
"He doesn't think any of this stuff is interesting," Justin says. "He's not a fan; this is not something he thinks [is funny]. He doesn't care."
Upon finding out about all the media interest, Sam Halpern laid down two rules. The first was that he didn't "want to f- - - - - - talk to anybody." That effectively killed the guest spot on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" they'd been invited to last month.
Rule 2: No online statements that refer to personal things about the family.
"Once, I made the mistake of using my mom's name in one of [the Tweets] and he was pissed about that. It's still up there though," Halpern says.
If his dad ever does object, he say, he'd stop Tweeting right away.
"I had a career before this," says Justin. "It wasn't as lucrative, but it's not worth screwing up [our relationship].
"The man lets me live in his house for free," he says. "I love my dad, I don't want to piss him off intentionally."


This post was prepared as a service to the DCSportbikes.net community. Neither the DCSportbikes.net ADMINS nor any of the moderators, makes any warranty, expressed or implied, or assumes any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, product, link, or process disclosed, or represents that its use would not infringe privately owned rights. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by DCSportbikes.net. The opinions of this author expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the DCSportbikes.net community, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes.
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November 11, 2009, 10:10 AM



I liked this one:

"Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down."


the one and only...
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November 11, 2009, 11:11 AM

"If mom calls, tell her I'm shitting... Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit."


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November 11, 2009, 11:16 AM




KEV~
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November 11, 2009, 10:53 PM

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!!!!!!
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