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  (#1)
One and Only
 
Cloaca's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,281
Join Date: June 4, 2004
Location: Cumberland, MD
March 15, 2005, 03:27 PM

As heard by: Anyone standing within 10 ft of me in the bar last night at about 3 am.

Preface: I met a girl last week who said "I have to tell you, I'm G as fuck." Obviously, I never really called her after that.


Her: You're as asshole, why the hell won't you call me back?

Me: I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me. It's not that you're not cool, I'm just.....not desperate enough.


Ohhh daddy. The look on her and her friends' face was PRICELESS. I did feel bad though. The Coors Light made me do it.



Ok, who's next? Things you just shouldn't say:


Right up the 1 hole.
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  (#2)
Mr. Glass
 
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Posts: 6,883
Join Date: July 11, 2003
Location: Emerica
March 15, 2005, 03:31 PM

thats beautiful


06 Black 10R
http://theazzman.com
http://twitter.com/azzman
________________________
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossi
dressing up like a fruity gangster and going to Sterling, that is like wearing a tuxedo just to go to the bathroom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossi
Buying a sportbike to go the speed limit (which you do not do in your car) is like buying a condom to look at it.

Do you buy a condom to look at it? No you buy it to fuck.
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  (#3)
BE ENCOURAGED!
 
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Posts: 4,197
Join Date: June 23, 2003
Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA
March 15, 2005, 04:03 PM

The Rev. Mother needs the convent painted so she offers the job to one of the altar boys. The first day the boy paints the entire inside of the convent, he's sweating like crazy but eventually gets it finished. The Rev. mother commends him on the work and with a smile hands him 50 cents. The boy looks at the coins and says to the Rev. Mother, "Thanks very much Sister, you're a virgin".

The Rev. Mother is a bit startled but makes no remark. Then next day the boy has to paint the outside of the convent; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The Rev. Mother looks at the job and this time gives the boy one dollar. Once again the boy looks at the dollar and says, "Thanks very much Sister, you really are a virgin".

At this point the The Rev. Mother decides to take action. "Tommy," she says, "that's twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"

"Yes" says the boy, "A TIGHT C*NT."



FOREVER #47 "Walking In The Echo...."
Are you a 'Secret Believer"? Do you Conceal your faith from your family, friends and co-workers? Isn't it about time to step out of hiding and let others know whom you follow?
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  (#4)
One and Only
 
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Posts: 6,281
Join Date: June 4, 2004
Location: Cumberland, MD
March 15, 2005, 04:40 PM

While that was mildly amusing, I meant real life stuff. Try again.


Right up the 1 hole.
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  (#5)
question authority
 
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Posts: 351
Join Date: December 21, 2004
Location: Frederick
March 15, 2005, 06:26 PM

My 89 YO grandma: getting old sucks you're going to hate it.

ME: thats why I got the motorcycle



she laughed.


GSX-R 1000 K4 Blue
& a mean pony
https://ccrma.stanford.edu/~peer/Ima...rno-soreli.jpg
"What are men? Mortal Gods
What are gods? Immortal Men"-Heraclitus 535BCE-475BCE
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  (#6)
whats in your drink?
 
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Posts: 7,808
Join Date: May 25, 2004
Location: Mineral VA. If you know where it is you can pass go
March 15, 2005, 07:20 PM

"Did pinning that badge on your chest hurt" as said by John Peterson at the Reston Hilton to a FFX county lafy cop. Yes alcomahal is a sumbytch


Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!
X
Take care of new riders, we were them, and they will be us.
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  (#7)
Licensed Rider
 
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Posts: 172
Join Date: December 29, 2002
Location: Bowie, Maryland
March 16, 2005, 06:17 AM

When introduced to a friend's wife I congratulated them on being pregnant and asked when she was due....



...yeah...strangely enough we don't get together much any more
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  (#8)
One and Only
 
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Join Date: June 4, 2004
Location: Cumberland, MD
March 16, 2005, 10:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marine2651
When introduced to a friend's wife I congratulated them on being pregnant and asked when she was due....



...yeah...strangely enough we don't get together much any more
Holy shit!



Right up the 1 hole.
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  (#9)
Licensed Rider
 
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Posts: 172
Join Date: December 29, 2002
Location: Bowie, Maryland
March 16, 2005, 12:40 PM

Yeah, tell me about it. She managed not to cry in front of everyone, but according to hubby she was immediately on a diet and cried for days.

I called her and did the whole "I'm truly sorry" bit, and meant it...but I think that was too big of a pill for her to get down.

Moral of the story is.... I don't ask anyone anything until I get to know em for a while.
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  (#10)
What's today? aah fuck it
 
---> Venom <---'s Avatar
 
Posts: 14,163
Join Date: April 30, 2004
Location: classified
March 16, 2005, 12:59 PM

At a CVS in Daytona, me and Jagule went in to get some drinks. There was a line at the regtister. Some guy was buying a pack of condoms, John looks over at him and says, "you know, those things taste horrible!"

Everyone starred, the dude blushed, the poor lady at the register couldn't stop laughing, and some guy standing in line behind us said "i'm not with them!"

Needless to say, John kept saying homo comments the entire time while we were in line.
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  (#11)
One and Only
 
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Posts: 6,281
Join Date: June 4, 2004
Location: Cumberland, MD
March 16, 2005, 01:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gixxer600
At a CVS in Daytona, me and Jagule went in to get some drinks. There was a line at the regtister. Some guy was buying a pack of condoms, John looks over at him and says, "you know, those things taste horrible!"

Everyone starred, the dude blushed, the poor lady at the register couldn't stop laughing, and some guy standing in line behind us said "i'm not with them!"

Needless to say, John kept saying homo comments the entire time while we were in line.

Now THAT is fucking funny.


There's a reason why I like that guy (and not b/c of the tasting condoms).


Right up the 1 hole.
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  (#12)
Will ride for food
 
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Posts: 448
Join Date: January 31, 2005
Location: Silver Spring
March 16, 2005, 02:35 PM

me and my bro were cleaning our russian church. we were in a discution on how to get the car for the evening and goten prety loud. there is a word in russian kak,= how, but sadly it sounds like COCK sorry for the cursing. He said it so loud and lucky us the church was being visited by an american grupe. they were staring at us for the rest of the 2 hours we were there. my brother ended up red as hell.
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  (#13)
Site Owner
 
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Posts: 12,971
Join Date: March 9, 2004
Location: CashBurn, VA
March 16, 2005, 02:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gixxer600
Needless to say, John kept saying homo comments the entire time while we were in line.
Good thing you let him ride on the back of your bike. I guess we know who's the pitcher and who's the catcher in that relationship.


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Nudist: If Ben isnt still riding me, then I need it
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  (#14)
What's today? aah fuck it
 
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Posts: 14,163
Join Date: April 30, 2004
Location: classified
March 16, 2005, 02:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClemsonJeeper
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gixxer600
Needless to say, John kept saying homo comments the entire time while we were in line.
Good thing you let him ride on the back of your bike. I guess we know who's the pitcher and who's the catcher in that relationship.
Keep the jokes comin' Rob...just wait till i get my hands on those pix of you riding bitch
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