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Unbelievable character and strength
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  (#1)
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Unbelievable character and strength - October 18, 2006, 12:48 PM

I have a very good friend here at work and have always respected and admired this man for many reasons, but today I found myself looking at the world through his eyes and can't begin to understand how this individual can be such an oak.

I had noticed yesterday that he wasn't himself and again today it was the same thing. I asked him one simple question; "Are you okay?" In a million years I couldn't have prepared myself for what he was about to tell me.

His eyes didn't simply tear up. He didn't merely cry. Rather, he openly wept right in front of me and told me that the boy living next door whom he and his wife had entrusted on several occasions to watch over their children, had on two occasions sodomized his five year old daughter. As he was telling me this, I began to feel my own rage burning deep within my soul and it rocked me to my very core. "How could this be?" I kept repeating in my mind as the details spilled out onto the table. It was like being in a terrible movie.

The most amazing thing happened this morning though. You see, my friend is deeply religious and he stated that he forgives the boy for stealing the innocence of his daughter. The law is involved and the boy will be prosecuted, but my God! Could I forgive an act like that? She isn't even my daughter and I don't see it happening. I can't bring myself to say I forgive or could forgive such a crime.

My friend is an inspiration to me. Simply and totally amazing in every way and every action. Could you ever forgive such an attack on your family?

**I let my friend read this prior to posting and he is fine with it as he said, "If only one can find it in their hearts to forgive as I have, then it's worth every word."
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October 18, 2006, 12:53 PM

I felt my own rage building as I read that Madali.

Unbelievable to be that strong. There is no way I could have controlled myself if it were me in his place. My condolences to him and his family as they cope with this and he should know that he is an inspiration to another!!!


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October 18, 2006, 12:53 PM

That is quite amazing. I don't know that I could ever forgive something like that.


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October 18, 2006, 12:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnySpeed954
I felt my own rage building as I read that Madali.

Unbelievable to be that strong. There is no way I could have controlled myself if it were me in his place. My condolences to him and his family as they cope with this and he should know that he is an inspiration to another!!!

+1


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October 18, 2006, 12:58 PM

Wow. My rage is still building from reading this. I don't know what I would do in that situation but I don't think I could forgive someone that has hurt my little girl. Your friend is an inspiration.


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  (#6)
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October 18, 2006, 01:02 PM

Amazing capacity for forgiveness. It is ultimately what God requires from him and most often the last thing to come if at all. Your friend is stronger than the person that would have likely gone and pounded that kid into oblivion.
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October 18, 2006, 01:04 PM

Sorry, I don't forget and I rarely forgive!
Not being a "Christian" or a member of any religion I find forgiveness to be a totally misrepresented thing. Holding people responsible for their actions and making them pay for them makes more sense than turning the other cheek. We aren't talking about someone who shoplifted, or who made a simple mistake. We're talking about evil, and one person's evil deed. Certainly let the law handle it, however "forgiving" them is not part of the deal.

Interesting to me how the ability to forgive makes someone a good person, their willingness to pawn it off on the unknown entity and their ability to accept what ought to be unacceptable seems to say something different to me.

If it works for that friend of yours, so be it. I hope his daughter understands the concept as well. I hope they find the peace and healing they're going to need.


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Last edited by vstargidget; October 18, 2006 at 01:08 PM.. Reason: spelling error
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October 18, 2006, 01:15 PM

+1
I'm not sure if his ability to forgive is a symbol of stregth?
I have always understood this concept of hiding your pain and anger behind your religion as a defense mechanism to rationalize what you are too weak to face.
Regardless... my heart goes out to him and his daughter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vstargidget
Sorry, I don't forget and I rarely forgive!
Not being a "Christian" or a member of any religion I find forgiveness to be a totally misrepresented thing. Holding people responsible for their actions and making them pay for them makes more sense than turning the other cheek. We aren't talking about someone who shoplifted, or who made a simple mistake. We're talking about evil, and one person's evil deed. Certainly let the law handle it, however "forgiving" them is not part of the deal.

Interesting to me how the ability to forgive makes someone a good person, their willingness to pawn it off on the unknown entity and their ability to accept what ought to be unacceptable seems to say something different to me.

If it works for that friend of yours, so be it. I hope his daughter understands the concept as well. I hope they find the peace and healing they're going to need.
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  (#9)
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October 18, 2006, 01:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by vstargidget
Sorry, I don't forget and I rarely forgive!
Not being a "Christian" or a member of any religion I find forgiveness to be a totally misrepresented thing. Holding people responsible for their actions and making them pay for them makes more sense than turning the other cheek. We aren't talking about someone who shoplifted, or who made a simple mistake. We're talking about evil, and one person's evil deed. Certainly let the law handle it, however "forgiving" them is not part of the deal.

Interesting to me how the ability to forgive makes someone a good person, their willingness to pawn it off on the unknown entity and their ability to accept what ought to be unacceptable seems to say something different to me.

If it works for that friend of yours, so be it. I hope his daughter understands the concept as well. I hope they find the peace and healing they're going to need.
I don't think that Maladi posted this thread to have his friend criticized. Why don't you start your own post and debate the ideas of forgiveness.

I don't think that Maladi friend was suggesting a pardon for the little bastard and he certainly is and evil seed and probably has irrevically changed that little girls life, however, his choice to forgive is his and what is scripturally commanded if he is a believer.

Speaking from experience, it is much easier to maintain a grudge or level of hate/resentment/anger toward another person than to forgive them and pray for their salvation.
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October 18, 2006, 01:22 PM

If it were me, I'd have forgiven him. It just would have been after his last words.
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October 18, 2006, 01:22 PM

I see both sides of it and therein lies my own conflict. I accept that, in no uncertain terms, I could NOT forgive that act. But to see another so openly forgive such a horrific act is inspirational to me on some level. It just is all so confusing and frustrating to wrap my mind around the concept.

I appreciate the defense BlackHatch, but I welcome both sides of the debate. It's an open question of "Could you forgive?". Honestly, I couldn't, but as stated above, he does and it's amazing.

Last edited by Madali; October 18, 2006 at 01:25 PM..
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October 18, 2006, 01:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildjester
+1
I'm not sure if his ability to forgive is a symbol of stregth?
I have always understood this concept of hiding your pain and anger behind your religion as a defense mechanism to rationalize what you are too weak to face.
Regardless... my heart goes out to him and his daughter.
Who said anything about hiding anger and pain behind religion as a defense mechanism because you are too weak to face it...? I don't think you meant to come off as a condescending prick in this case but you did a pretty good job of it.

If I forgive someone that has transgressed against me because I am called upon to do so, I am not hiding behind religion because I am weak. I can assure it is the harder course of action. It is much easier to hate and that polarization of feeling is what is encouraged in today's world anyway. It takes much more strength to actually pray that someone find salvation and realize the causticness of their behavior.
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October 18, 2006, 01:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutter
If it were me, I'd have forgiven him. It just would have been after his last words.
Good plan. Deprive your daughter of a father while in prison and teach her to kill those that hurt her.

I wonder what would srew her psyche up worse....being raped or watching her father rot in jail after exacting revenge.
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October 18, 2006, 01:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madali
I see both sides of it and therein lies my own conflict. I accept that, in no uncertain terms, I could NOT forgive that act. But to see another so openly forgive such a horrific act is inspirational to me on some level. It just is all so confusing and frustrating to wrap my mind around the concept.

I appreciate the defense BlackHatch, but I welcome both sides of the debate. It's an open question of "Could you forgive?". Honestly, I couldn't, but as stated above, he does and it's amazing.
Not saying I could either...probably leaning towards not.

No man could decide until faced with that scenario and God willing none will be.
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October 18, 2006, 01:31 PM

you think a jury of his peers would give him a harsh sentence?


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